Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Chaos

My love life is a chaos. I don't allow myself to love, less to be loved. I just notice it might have had something to do with childhood. I found out too that i might be manipulative. That, i kinda knew already, just didnt know why. I dont do it on purpose but yes, I am. In love, like in most aspects of life, I need to have fully control of things. I havent found complaints about it, untill now and it has created a really bad relationship, when it was starting; Now is over. For good.

A cyber friend told me recently that love was not complicated, we humans were. He was so right.

105 comments:

Burron Azul said...

...

Anonymous said...

oye queria opinar en el post de la jineteras pero no se que pasa con bloger,esta en llamas
anyway great post,you should read the book jineteras By Amir del Valle

toco_libre

Anonymous said...

I had tried to leave you comments before, J.I, but I can't. Blogger's giving me really hard time....
Well, you've got quite a diary here!
Charlie Bravo
You wanted to know more about me: a rebel and a rocker...

J.I. said...

OK Bu..se te entiende...


Toco, ya vistes el desastre que hice en tu blog ayer..jaja..si, esta de pipi esto. Mira, voy a buscar el libro, pero si miras el post que hicistes en tu blog sobre Amir del Valle, te daras cuenta no le pare mucha bola, que sabra el de jineteras,me pregunto yo,pero bueno, si dices que el libro esta bueno, lo busco.


Charlie, you have quite a blog. Just kinda shy to reply on it. You guys are tough cookies. Rather read you. Me, a rebel, trovadora, timbalera...

YaniaCreations said...

Nio nina...
I think it's my first time here. I mira que hemos hablaooooooo

Anyway... if you think yoru love life is a chaos, take a look at mine and you'll see!

Let me read on so I can have a better idea and leave you one of my pieces of wisdom.
cheers

J.I. said...

Cheers, Yania, yeap your first time...Sorry your late, i used to have some hot converstations with a boy..but i deleted them, the same way I delete HIM. lol

Anonymous said...

Thanks (this is Charlie Bravo), J.I....
Well, we say things in that blog how we see them and there are many people who hate our guts for that. Too bad. Way too bad. Come by and read all you want, many people don't comment but hey, I am more interested in having people reading us and thinking about what we say than anything else.
Timbalera? So, you play the bongos, las tumbadoras and everything in between? That sounds great, you've gotta record a podcast with those sounds of your!
Be good!

J.I. said...

Im always good Charlie, and hey..I dont play percusions but...I dance a lot...I can record a postcard of that...And well, like you said, too bad for those who hate you guys. Keep up the good work.

YaniaCreations said...

Really... we might be on the same page here...you tell me.
I have hot conversations too , with some other guy/friend, sometimes really hot. I have no intentions of going any further than that, in fact, I like to build up that heat, see where it takes the other, see what I'm able to make the other one feel. BUt that's about it. It's just a plain excercise for my brain. Wake up some desire toward me is something that excites me a lot.I have enough only with that!
Too bad for the guy, that believes in the possibility of it though.

Anonymous said...

A postcard of you dancing? That's going to be way too kewl! I know you're good!

J.I. said...

Oh Yania, that happens a lot...but be careful, sometimes u found crazy people around...Good brain exersice though. Hee Hee

Anonymous said...

That was me Charlie Bravo, I can only post as anonymous, this is weird!

J.I. said...

I thought so, Hey charlie, You think Im a good dancer? Wonder what makes you think so..but yeah, I am ;-)

YaniaCreations said...

hey charlie what's up?

J.I gave me the link of your blog.. but turns out i already knew it.. cause you post at Babalu too right??

YaniaCreations said...

and she IS a good dancer.. for the record!

Anonymous said...

No Yania, I haven't posted at Babalu in ages. I hooe you like KillCastro.... Thanks!
Hey, J.I. you said you dance, and well, being a non dancer myself I could cyber smell that you were a great dancer.
Charlie Bravo

J.I. said...

Cyber smell Charlie? Wow, please! teach me how u do that. Im a big fan of scents also... What's up with you Cuban guys that dont know how to dance? Not good...

Anonymous said...

That's just an stereotype.... That all Cubans dance. Well some don't. Why? I have no idea. I have never been interested in dancing, but hey, I've survived!
Charlie Bravo

J.I. said...

I noticed Charlie... and yes, thanks God ( not really) you survived, so we can read you ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thanks, it's a blessing to have intelligent people following our blog. Let's see if I can write something lighter these days. But c'mon, what's going on throw us on the heavy side! C.B.

J.I. said...

Charlie, if you change your way of writting, i dont think im gonna be interested in reading you...That's what I like about Killcastro, the heavy side...no blah blah blah for kitties. ( you know what i meant).

Anonymous said...

No way on Earth I will ever change my way of writing. I was referring to themes. Sometimes I enjoy a lot writing about life in Cuba, or music, or some anecdotes.... (as you can see in the archives) I meant that the themes were heavy lately. The last one I wrote that was different was the Walrus and the Eggman. CB

J.I. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

wow me perdi el party!!
Ya colaron cafe?
cb don't feel bad yo soy tremendo matador de cucarachas when it comes to dance" casino",en techno formo tremendo despelote pero en casino soy un pasmao! lol
Janet vas a tener que poner una escuela para los "patones"

Toco

J.I. said...

No, Toco, Tu tampoco?? Ay que horror. Oye, echa pa aca que aqui el cafe se toma tarde. Charlie parece que esta busy durante el dia. Dime donde quieres la escuelita de baile..aqui en Miami o por alla por NY? Dime que saco tickets ya! Lastima que CB no este interesado...

Saluditos
Janet

Anonymous said...

yo me defiendo pero formo tremendo tropelaje,nesecito mas practica y no te preocupes que yo convenco a cb pa que se inscriba,es que de tanto que le di al teckno I neglect el casino.
Oye ya tienes el lechon ready pa noche buena?

toco

J.I. said...

Toco! claro que tengo lechon pa noche buena, yo tengo una caja rara, no es china, es un cajon de aluminio algo elaborado que queda! que pa que te cuento. Dime, pa donde armo la academia? A ver que dice CB...Y tu ya tienes tu lechonsito?

Burron Azul said...

interesting...

Anonymous said...

Academia de baile?
Oh my....
I don't think that I will do well at that.
Christmas is going to be different this year. I will tell y'all when I come back.
New Year's Eve will be very different, too.
(CB)

J.I. said...

Toco...Me he pasado toda la noche riendome e imaginandome those "tropelajes" que armas para bailar..hacia rato no oia esa palabra! lol..

Bu...What's up? Wanna come to the academy too? ;-)

Charlie!! You'll be good. A guy with so much passion ( writing) cant be that bad. Regarding your xmas and new year's ve...please! do we need to wait fo know what's gonna be different? Curiosity kills me! Hope you have a good one though.

Voy a leer tu Sunshine...

Besitos a todos.

Anonymous said...

I still don't see how you can end up talking about purco y bailadera on this topic...I guess it is just chaos, as you said.

Well janet, I am going to be bloody honest with you. A person that manipulates and controls is not capable of loving.

I wonder if you know what love is. To me, You don't. You might have an illusion of love.

Love doesn't allow manipulation and control(very well rooted in Cubans), love doesn't even tell you when it knocks your door.

I have seen many manipulative and controling women fell under ropes and knots, blindfolded with a gag in their mouths. At this point, they feel powerless, naked, tightened to a chair or bed, they cannot move, not even see the cold sharp blade playing with the skin.

Somehow, the same controling, manipulative, power hunger woman feels the opposite and it is when they have the most intense, atomic ,orgasms...

But if at the end of the day, you really enjoy controling, manipulation, have the absolute power...don't worry, there are many submissive men around...problem is you will get bored once the guy becomes your toy...

Apart from this, enjoy lechon and dance... don't think about love...learn it, build it,earn it...and most importantly, give it...

J.I. said...

Pedazodeyuca..if you are looking for a cyber-suicide, you are in the wrong blog. My love life is not "my life", I still have lots of things going on besides fucked up relationships with the opposite sex. Most of your "speech" is accertative, Ovbiusly you didnt pay much attention to what i wrote, exactly, Im not capable of loving, a man that is. I havent been able to, is not that Im doing it on purpose, i just havent found somebody who can inspire me such pleasure. But hey, Im looking so give me some credit. As you might know...almighty yuca, is not easy, sometimes you found someone with a remote probability, cause no, nobody starts a relationship thinking is gonna be long term, serious or whatever, and them something come up and you dont have a choice anymore but to move on and that hint,that "remote" probability dissapears before your eyes. Sometimes is the way around. You are not a good choice for someone you wish you were. I can understand why you dont understand me, your not a girl, but..we woman manipulate, I do it in a very nice way....Im not bossy, at all. We manipulate were we wanna go, what we want you guys to do for us and many other things. Is an art. You wouldnt understand, honestly.

Regarding your little fetishes about chairs,ropes, beds, leather, feeling powerless and anything in between...Oh boy...I cant wait to experiment the feeling..is not like im running away from it. Have a good one...yuquita.

Anonymous said...

si janet ya tengo separado el lechonchito pero si el dia esta muy frio para noche buena lo mando asar en una panaderia si no en el patio de la familia.
oye un viaje me puse a inventar y cocinarlo en el garage pq hacia un frio del carajo y yo sali mas ahumado que el lechon..lol.


Oye el tronco e Yuca te metio una sicologia de "silence of the lambs"..candela
saluditos
toco

J.I. said...

Vistes eso Toco..no, no, esta pasao el yuquita. Ay toco, si tu supieras lo que yo me rio con tus cosas...Un lechon adentro de un garage?? LOL...Vaya...esas son cosas exclusivas de Tocororo_libre.LOL...By the way, ponte hacer cuentos en tu blog viejo...Como el de tu amigo y la jinetera, tu amigo y algo que ver con unos animales?? Conno viejo!...mira que me divertia leyendo esas cosas!

Saluditos Toco...see ya around.

J.I. said...

Charlie...Do you really think things are going to get better? I doubt that so much! I wish so though. I have strong ties in that side of the world. Hope for the best. What you think might happen? Send me an email, i would like to know your point of view, the private one if possible, I know you have contacts. Im kinda disconnected about the subject.
Check out the Mick comment...just my point of view there.

Thanks for the nice words ;-)

Burron Azul said...

Na janet no te preocupe que pronto va a brillar el sol bajo el cielo obscuro, y como dice charlie mercado, en solo unos dias todo va se mejor... solo toma el sol de la tarde y rezado dos aves marias... Y ademas las muejeres tienen una cosa ahi que parece que los hombres no tenemos, un sentido diferente de la realidad, o sea: las mujeres estan perdidas pues la realidad es una sola! jijij No me explico janet, tal parece que te estan ofendiendo... a mi manera de ver el sol no brilla de noche, nadie puede predecir el fututo como para asegurar que en unos dias todo estara mejor y lo ultimo de las mujeres esta en contra de todo el avance feminista de los ultimos 40 anos (se supone que las muejeres sean iguales a los hombres no?) si eso es saber escribr... jiji
No basta con poner cuatro palabras juntas.. hay que darles sentido. aunque sea un poco.

Anonymous said...

Me gusta mucho Janet pero no me hace caso que frustado estoy!
Que horror!


El Bugarron Azul

J.I. said...

Nooooo...burro, no me ofenden, fijate que a no ser por ese "charlie mercado" como tu le dices, el toco, yania que tambien entro a darme animos y hasta el pedazo de Yuca con si psicologia barata, todavia estuviera llorando por esa relacion pasada...di tu!...sera burro, que te pasa lo que dice tu bugarron azul??? lol...Ur weird!!

Anonymous said...

Very, but very interesting... Amor, lechon y Hannibal Lector... I've heard someone call Bugarron Azul to Burron Azul before. Mi gente, FELIZ AÑO NUEVO!!!!

LunaticAzul.

J.I. said...

FELIZ ANNO NUEVO PEOPLE!!!!!!!

PD: "I've heard someone call Bugarron Azul to Burron Azul before."
Where at?? I wanna see it!! lol

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